Without You By My Side
by lottielovebuzz
Summary: Esme Cullen has a special ability. The ability to love. It is the reason why she is considered the heart of the family. A series of one-shots that show Esme's loving ability to its fullest, and how she felt about certain things that happened before, during and after the Twilight Saga. Set in no exact order. Canon pairings.
1. Chapter I

_Hey all. Another Twilight one-shot. This is Esme's feelings when she found out Bella was pregnant. I decided to make it so that it fit in with the actual story line of Breaking Dawn. This is BEFORE Jacob, Seth and Leah come along to protect the Cullen family. But it is just before Jake and Seth come to warn them about Sam's plan and we find out that Esme and Carlisle are seperated from the rest of the family._

_Hope you all enjoy and I hope it isn't too out of character. :D_

_Disclaimer for full series - I do not own Twilight!_

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><p><strong>Without You By My Side.<strong>

**Chapter I.**

**Esme's Reaction To Bella's Pregnancy****.**

**How Is It Possible? How Is It Fair?**

Bella was pregnant.

There was no doubt about it. When we picked Edward and her up from the airport, I could see the slight bulge of her stomach. Most humans would mistake it for excess weight but I knew Bella and I knew that she had a flat stomach.

When we arrived home Carlisle ran every test and they all came back positive. So, there really was no doubt about it.

I stood against my son and my husband when they wanted to terminate it. I sided with both my daughters, Rosalie and Bella.

It was a _baby. _How could they so easily take away it's life? The very idea hurt me. Carlisle would not side against me and so - in the end- we won the fight, but the war was far from over.

Edward was hurt that Bella went behind his back and that she so honourably protected the child, and to tell the truth, I was too.

I was hurt when Rosalie told us that Bella had phoned asking for her help. I bare no grudge against either of my daughters but she could've went to me! All this fighting would be unnecessary because Edward would never fight me and would hear me out. I would never shut him away from his soulmate as Rosalie was doing right now.

No, I do not bare a grudge against either of my daughters, but I couldn't help but feel hurt.

Carlisle was trying to be there for me but he couldn't keep his sons anddaughters in check, look after Bella, keep his family safe and make sure I was alright.

My beautiful blond god may be as near to perfect as there possibly can be, but he can't be everywhere at once and do everything at the same time.

Instead, I've taken to staying out of the way. Unable to stand the arguing. Unable to see Bella in pain. Unable to see _all _my family in pain.

Edward was hurting because Bella was hurting, Carlisle was in pain because he couldn't do anything to help find with Bella's pain, Emmett and Jasper hurt because they were constantly researching to see if they could find anything about half-breeds such as the one Bella was carrying now, and can't find _anything_, and Alice, Alice was hurting because she could no longer see her friend and couldn't determine her future and know if she was going to live because of the baby.

The only person who didn't seem to be in pain was Rosalie, and she was would be in physical pain soon if she didn't stop testing Edward's breaking point. I could see it in my most beloved son's face, every comment and movement was pushing him further and further until one time he would snap.

I spend my time in the attic with Alice, keeping her company and keeping her sane.

I only ever venture out to hunt, which was what I was currently doing.

I took a deep breath in and scented a herd of six deer to the West of where I was. I shut down all my senses, forgot about who I was, what I was feeling and what I was currently going through.

Only allowing my sense of smell and hearing to pull me to my hunt.

I heard the rustle of something behind me, but before I had a chance to react, the scent overcame me and I realised it was only Carlisle. He had came with me after he insisted on not leaving me alone. I had argued, saying I was not vulnerable and I was not going to do anything stupid, but he insisted. I stopped arguing after I realised that he probably couldn't bare to leave me alone and couldn't bare to be by himself.

I took down the stag and a doe first before I drained them. This is what I wanted and needed. A chance to escape. A chance to forget _everything._

When I was finished, I looked back up to see Carlisle watching me. The sight of him would have stopped my heart if it were still beating.

In that moment I forgot about the carcasses at my feet, all I could see was him. My angel. I ran over to him and threw myself into his already waiting arms.

'Oh, Carlisle.' I sobbed uncontrollably.

His hand slowly stroked through my caramel locks, his other rubbing my back, trying to comfort me, but I couldn't be comforted. I was feeling too helpless, too sad, to be comforted.

'Esme,' He whispered softly, 'Tell me. Tell me exactly how you're feeling. Let me in. Let me help you.'

The desperate tone his voice took was too much for me. My pain was his pain. If I tried to shut him out he would only hurt more. The man always felt unworthy of me. I didn't see how. I always deemed myself unworthy of him. All through my human life he was my escape during my Hell. I told my son about him, and when I woke up through the pain and fire of my transformation, all I saw was him. He is my angel. He always was, and he always will be.

'I'm just so mad at everyone.' I started, I felt bad, knowing that this conversation would lead to him getting blamed slightly, and as much as I didn't want to, what I felt needed to be said. 'I'm mad a Bella for not trusting me, for not phoning me, for help. I would've been able to make Edward see sense without causing him any pain like Rose is doing. I'm mad at Edward for even thinking about terminating the baby. I'm mad at Rosalie for not caring about Bella's wellbeing, that she is only caring about the fact she may get a child out no matter the consequences. An-and...' I faltered. I couldn't hurt him. I just couldn't.

'And?' He pressed.

I shook my head and buried it into his chest, holding him tighter.

'Esme. Please tell me.'

'I-I-I'm mad at you.' I whispered and I felt him stiffen against me for a split second before his hands were caressing in me reassuringly, telling me to go on. 'I'm mad that you agreed with Edward's suggestion to have Bella abort the baby. Didn't you for once think about how she would feel or how...how I would feel? I've lost a baby. I know how bad you feel. A child is a _part _of you. It doesn't matter if you thought that you didn't want one or if the father was a monster...'

He growled at the mention of my previous husband and his grip became tighter on me, but I continued without stopping.

'...A mother and child grow a bond from the moment the baby is conceived. She is blessed that she can have a child with the man she loves. If she got changed before and then realised that she wanted one, it would be too late. Edward has enough self control and determination to make sure that she survives. And she will. But I am just so hurt and confused that this one little blessing is tearing my family apart.'

I stopped, breaking down into sobs again.

'Esme,' He whispered into my hair, 'How could I be so foolish? I knew that this would cause you pain but I didn't for once think that you would draw a parallel to your child, and I was foolish for not thinking it. I am so sorry for not being there for you and I am so sorry for hurting you, my love.'

'Don't blame yourself, you have more than enough trouble on your plate. But I've said what I needed to say, and if I feel the need to say anything else, you will be the first to know.'

We stood there for a few minutes, before I realised something.

'Carlisle?'

'Hmm?' He murmured.

'You hear that?'

'Hear what? I hear nothing.'

I grinned, 'Exactly. There is no noise. We are all alone. No children to interrupt us.'

His face soon relaxed and mimicked mine. One of longing, passion and lust.

I reached up and softly skimmed my lips against his, brushing our noses together before he couldn't take anymore and firmly pressed his lips to mine. I laughed breathlessly, which was soon replaced by a moan as his tongue brush against my lower lip. I opened my mouth, granting his tongue the entrance it was desperately looking for, his beginning a dance with mine.

My hands trailed up and knotted themselves in his golden hair, trying desperately to pull him closer. Tying to mash his body against mine. His hand cupped my cheek gently and pushed my head back slightly so he could deepen the kiss.

My hands descended to the top button of his shirt and just as I was about to open it-

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

I sighed heavily as we had to break away from our moment of passion so that Carlisle could answer his cellphone.

As he pulled it out he looked at the caller I.D, 'Edward.' He mouthed to me.

Suddenly, any passion I had was replaced with worry, what if something happened to Bella whilst we were away? I would never forgive myself if Carlisle could have saved her had I not been so selfish and needy.

'Edward? What is it?' My husband asked my son.

Edward was talking so fast and quiet that I couldn't hear what he was saying. Nine seconds later, Carlisle said goodbye and hung up the phone.

'Looks like our alone time is going to have to wait, my dear. We have to get home.'

'Why?' I asked, afraid of the answer.

'Turns out the werewolves view Bella's baby as a threat. We are all in danger.'

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><p><em>Cliffhanger, I know but I decided that they wouldn't stop and discuss the whole ordeal. I'm sure that as soon as those words were out of Carlisle's mouth they would have ran to help.<em>

_Review? Please? I would love to hear from you :) Also it will NOT be getting continued. This is just a one-shot, so yeah :D_

_Charlotte xxx_


	2. Chapter II

_Hey all, I know I said that I would NOT be continuing this story but I decided I wanted to, I liked the idea of having a spare project to do in my spare time. So this is now going to be a series of one-shots that are going to be set in no particular order. For example I could go from a chapter in Twilight, then make a chapter after Breaking Dawn then back to a chapter in New Moon. So yeah. Hope you like it. They will always be in Esme's point of view because I like writing her the most. :) She is my favourite after all. :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter II.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To Edward Falling In Love With Bella.**

**In Love At Last.**

I couldn't believe it.

Even when Alice said that he would fall in love with the human, I still couldn't believe it had happened.

Edward, my first son, was in love with someone. Everyone was shocked the he fell for I human, but I didn't care! He had found his soulmate. I had always worried about him, thinking that Carlisle had maybe changed him at too young an age, but at last he had found someone who could love him as much he loved her.

Bella Swan, I had never seen her. The rest of the family had, Carlisle said she was quite a character, she doesn't like being the centre of attention or getting help and doesn't like feeling weak. I almost laughed when I heard that, she wasn't going to survive having a vampire for a mate. Vampire men are the most protective creatures of their women. Carlisle still felt the need to protect me over little harmless things.

I couldn't control myself anymore, every time I was around him, I needed to give him a hug, I was always pulling him into my embrace, needing him to know exactly how happy I was even though he knew from my thoughts.

The rest of the family weren't as thrilled with this news as I was. Carlisle was happy because Edward and I were happy, Alice was getting a human friend that she always craved and Emmett was always happy, so there was no change with him.

Rosalie and Jasper were another story. Jasper did not want to let Bella Swan live, he had stated this at our family meeting after Edward saved her from a tragic accident. He didn't want Alice to live where there could be a threat. I understood this but I couldn't help but want to scream that she could look after herself, she divided herself from him, went against him we were discussing what should happen to the girl.

And Rosalie, well, she was just being Rosalie. She never adjusted to this life well. In her first year after being changed, I was the only person she would talk to, finding Emmett changed her, calmed her down but she always resented being changed. She once told me that she didn't understand Edward, she was no doubt beautiful, even by vampire standards. She did not love Edward and didn't want a relationship but she didn't know why he wasn't falling for her. She had grew to live with it, thinking that because she didn't catch his eye, no one would, I think when she discovered he fell for someone who wasn't her, and someone that was human. She couldn't understand it.

She would never admit to anyone, but she was jealous of Bella Swan. I could see that, but I knew not to say anything, she would never talk to anyone about it, probably not even Emmett.

My Edward was in love.

I couldn't keep my thoughts away from this subject for more that a few seconds.

I stood in the kitchen that never got used, taking the flowers I had cut from the garden and arranging them into the crystal vases I had bought for one of our other houses, I brought them with us all the time, they reflected light perfectly, they brightened the room alone or with the flowers.

The children were at school, not due home for three more hours and Carlisle was at work, due home in 15 minutes.

I could wait fifteen minutes, I knew I could.

I plottered around this house, cleaning a few things and rearranging a few more, trying to keep my thoughts away from Edward and Bella. Which never worked.

What would they be talking about right now? I knew that she didn't know we were vampires, but would Edward tell her? Would she guess? When was he bringing her home so I could meet her?

'I want to meet her!' I spoke aloud, airing my thoughts to the empty room.

'Meet who?' A musical voice asked from behind me and I snapped around to see my god.

'Is it 12 already?' I asked flabbergasted, I knew I worked slow, but _that _slow? That was probably even slower than a human pace.

'Yes,' He replied, removing his coat and placing it on the coatrack and placing his medical bag on the ground. 'So, who do you want to meet?'

He was by my side in an instant, his arms wrapping around my waist and placing a loving kiss on my temple.

'Bella! Everyone has met her, or at least seen her, except from me. I am this close to going to her house and stalking her.' I joked, turning around to face him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

'I'd love to see Edward's face when you tell him that idea.' Carlisle joked back.

We both laughed and I placed my head against his chest, glad to have him back and alone.

'I - I -' Carlisle started but quickly faltered, I didn't understand why. I needed to know what he was going to say, he knew how I felt about him not sharing his thoughts with me.

'What is it Carlisle?' I questioned him and I felt his grip on me become tighter.

'I just do not know how it will work. She is a human and he is determined not to change her or tell her, how can it work?'

I understood straight away, as I had been thinking that as well. I didn't care what she looked like or how she acted just as long as she loved Edward as me as he loved her, but at times like this, when Edward couldn't hear my thoughts, I often wondered about it.

My son was determined that he will not be changing Bella into a vampire. He wouldn't take away her life and damn her soul, but if she loved Edward, I had a feeling she would want to be transformed. The only reason I managed to adjust to life as a vampire was because I got to spend life with the man of my dreams.

'I do not know, my love, but it _has _to work, Edward deserves someone to love.'

'That, my beautiful Esme, is true.'

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><p><em>Not as long as the last one but still...:) I hoped you liked it and please review. :)<em>

_Charlotte xx_


	3. Chapter III

_Hey all. I'm back with another, this one is much shorter though but still. :) I hope you like it._

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><p><strong>Chapter III.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To Bella's 'Death'.**

**A Foolish Notion.**

I felt my body freeze.

Every muscle in my body contracted and I couldn't move.

I tried telling Edward that leaving her was the worst thing, that it wouldn't solve any problems, only create them but he insisted on leaving. Either we went with him or we didn't, but either way Edward was leaving Bella. Not willing to lose my son again, I agreed.

Now, I wished I hadn't. Maybe if I was there I could've stopped her from jumping off of that cliff. The sad thing was, I knew how she felt, I knew what it was like to lose all hope, to think there was no other reason to live on and just to take the easy way out.

Maybe if we had been there, she would've survived. Maybe if she didn't know we were there but just looking after her, that way, when she jumped, she could've lived. I survived my fall long enough for Carlisle to save me and it meant me spending forever with my childhood fantasy, the man of my dreams. Bella could've been the same, but no, no one was the to save poor Bella.

Everyone was mourning her. The room that I stood in seemed cold, dead.

The sobs ripped through my body as I cried a tearless cry.

I felt Carlisle wrap his arms around me and pull me to his chest. I inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent that always soothed me and made me feel better, but today it only worked a little bit, I don't think anything could soothe me.

His hands came up and stroked through my hair.

Despite having my husband hold me and comfort me, I couldn't calm down, I just couldn't. Poor little innocent Bella, her first true love left her and she thought that she couldn't go on any longer.

'Poor Bella.' I whispered softly against Carlisle's chest and I felt him grip around me become tighter.

'Shh...' Was Carlisle's response and his hand continued to stroke my hair.

The rest of the room started to talk once more but I tuned them out.

There was only one thought that went through my head, only one.

How do we tell Edward?

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><p><em>Review? Please? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please? OKay, I'll shut up now.<em>

_Charlotte xx_


	4. Chapter IV

_Hey everyone. Remember this story? If you don't, then I can't blame you. It's been a while since I last updated. But I now have a schedule, and this story will be updated the 1st of every month, until I don't have any more ideas. :D_

_Thank you all so much for all the reviews and alerts, they really make my day._

_Also, Sherlock is back tonight! Any Sherlockians reading this? If you are, are you excited? I know I am, I can't WAIT!_

_This chapter was Beta'd by the lovely Why Fireflies Flash, who is amazing, I'd go and check her out if you like Pirates of the Caribbean or Phantom of the Opera. She's written stories for both of them, and she's a brilliant writer. :D_

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><p><strong>Chapter IV.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To Bella and Edward's Wedding.**

**Pure White.**

I was standing at the table, where all the decorative food was. Well, I say decorative, many people at the wedding would eat it, except from a select few from the groom's side.

_The groom. _I thought, with a large smile gracing my lips.

My Edward, getting married. At last.

He had finally found his soulmate, and even though they had a lot of problems, from Edward leaving her, to a bunch of newborns hunting her blood. They had finally worked everything out, and were finally getting married.

As I gazed out to the dance floor, where the both of them were, their foreheads together, Edward leading the normally clumsy girl, into a graceful dance, I placed my hand over my no longer beating heart.

To say that Bella looked beautiful, would be an understatement. The white fabric of her dress, clung to her form perfectly, the long veil sweeping behind her, a flurry to graceful movement.

A part of me, though I hated to admit it, never thought this day would come, I was always afraid that Edward would never meet anyone that he would wish to marry.

His eyes flicked up to meet mine, with a small grin on his lips. He gave a wink in my direction before returning back to Bella.

I gave a small chuckle, sitting down my prop, my glass full of champagne. Gazing at the lovely couple before looking around the room for my other half.

I spotted my gold-haired God over the other side of the room, with Bella's parents, Charlie and Renée, his smile dazzling as he chatted to them about the wedding.

He must have felt someones eyes on him, as he turned around and his golden eyes met mine. He turned back to Charlie and Renée, quickly excusing himself, before he turned and walked over to me, his movements graceful.

'Can I have the dance, my lady?' He asked as soon as he was close enough, extending his hand to me.

With a wide grin, I placed my hand in his. 'Why, yes you may.'

He led me to the dance floor that we had made by moving our furniture out of the way.

He placed his hand on my waist and took my hand, and I placed my other hand on his shoulder.

'They look perfect.' I said, as I saw them float behind Carlisle's shoulder.

He turned us around so he could look and his mouth tugged into a perfect smile.

'Yes, they do.'

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><p><em>So, tell me, what did you think? Sorry it's not as descriptive or that, the next one will be, I promise. This chapter was much more getting it finished for it to be uploaded, rather than focusing on quality. The next one will be better.<em>

_Also, I have a poll on my profile for which fandom my next story should be from, the options are; Twilight, NCIS, Pirates of the Caribbean and Sherlock. Please vote, guys. Please? :D_

_-CH.x_


	5. Chapter V

_Hello everyone! I'm back! (Did that sound like a serial killer thing?) Anyway ... my hiatus is finally up, and I'm now updating! You have no idea how happy that makes me. :) Woke up today with a smile on my face! _

_Oh, I have to say, if any of you lovely people have Facebook, I now have a Facebook page. So, if you like this, or any other stories that I have written - or might write - will you go over to my Facebook page (link is on my profile) and like it please? Please. It gives you sneak peeks to future stories and /or chapters. As well as a chance to ask me questions, and you'll get to see how some ideas unfold. It'll also be the first place I post any announcements. Anyway, I'll stop rambling ... if you like it, good. If you don't like it, at least review. :D_

_Also, did I tell you this story is only going to have thirty chapters? So 25 to go, after that, no more ... sorry!_

_This chapter was Beta'd by the lovely Why Fireflies Flash._

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><p><strong>Chapter V.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To Her Change.**

**Heavy In Your Arms.**

Searing hot pain. It ran through my veins, burning everything it touched. My body was on fire. It was as if I was sitting on top of many flames...in fact, no it wasn't, because this heat was hotter than any flame I had ever been near. That only left one thing it could be. Hell. There was no doubts about it. God had punished me for taking my life, for throwing myself off that cliff and He sent me to hell, to be with the Devil.

I deserved this, it was such a selfish act, ending my own life before God's will. Yet, I couldn't go on living without my boy, without my baby. If God had thought that he could take my James' life and not expect me to join him, then he was fool. What did he expect? He was the only light in my horrible, pathetic life, how could he take him away from me? I had no one else to turn to, no one else understood what I had been through and what I couldn't go back to.

The pain got the better of me and I couldn't think any more. I gave a loud scream in agony, thinking it would ease the pain. Which it did, for only a second but as soon as I stopped the pain was back and just as painful - if not worse - than before.

I registered a squeeze on my hand, followed by a whisper in my ear. 'I am so sorry.'

I couldn't understand why this person was apologising. Why should he? It wasn't his fault that I was in hell. In the back of my mind, I realised that I had heard that voice before. I wanted to open my eyes to look, to see if putting the face to the voice would give me a name, but it was too painful, they were squeezed shut and I didn't dare open them.

After what felt like forever, the pain slowly, so very slowly, started to reduce and the burning started to recede. It moved from the tips of my fingers and toes, slowly moving inwards. Towards my chest, my heart. In it's wake, it left behind coldness, but after being burned for so long, it was due to leave behind cold, wasn't it?

My heart started beating faster, faster than what should be normal for any human. But who knows what the Devil had planned for me? Maybe this was my punishment. Death in the slowest and most painful way that anyone could imagine.

The fire had moved from my arms and legs and was now gathering in my chest, burning white hot, searing my flesh, surely my organs were bound to be burned, burned like wood in a fire.

Another scream burst from my lips and my chest heaved upwards, as if being pulled by a invisible wire, my hand clenched around the table that I was on, a distinctive cracking noise was audible and my back slammed back against the table. Another crack resounded around the room and I suddenly fell to the ground, but that wasn't my concern for my heart sped up and with a stutter, it stopped suddenly.

My breath was caught in my throat and I slowly opened my eyes, taking in a shuddery breath that felt, _odd._It was as if my body didn't need the air, but despite this, I _liked _it. I could smell everything in the room, I knew there was two people in the room, two males.

The clarity of my eyesight was _incredible_! I could see dust particles floating around the room, I could see all the grains of wood in the ceiling, I could see the flakes of paint that adorned the wall.

I registered the fact that someone was holding my hand and they squeezed it slightly. I turned my head to look at the owner of the hand, a hiss bubbling in my throat, coming out and then my breath caught again.

There was the man of my dreams. The man I had met when I was 16 and hadn't forgotten.

His gold hair brighter than I remembered, his amber eyes twinkling and holding a look of desperation and sadness, and was that guilt? His skin even paler than I had thought it was and yet, it wasn't as cold as it was all those years ago.

But what was he doing here? If this was Hell, why was there an angel in it?

A part of my mind realised that I couldn't possibly be in Hell, there were no flames, no blackness, no heat and my surroundings looked very much like a house, but if I wasn't in Hell, where was I? How could I be alive? I _threw _myself off a _cliff_! I thought, desperately trying to figure out where I was.

Only a second had passed by this time and I slowly reached my hand out to touch his face, but I got distracted with the paleness of _my _skin. Despite this new distraction I placed my hand on his cheek, having sat up within a millisecond. I realised that my skin now matched his and I wanted to know how. I was never this pale before in my life, I always had a slight tan from working on my fathers' farm when I was little.

But how was this possible?

I opened my mouth and a voice that couldn't have been mine came out.

'Dr. Cullen?'

It was barely recognisable, there was a slight hint that it was my voice, but other than that it was completely different, it was more melodic than my voice should've been.

He gave a slight smile, possibly at the fact I had remembered him after all these years, but how could I forget him? Despite only knowing him for a hour or two, he had left an ever lasting impression.

'Yes, Miss Platt.'

My face fell slightly, Miss Platt? Oh, maybe they had found me and brought me to the hospital, and he was the doctor.

It wasn't fate that brought us back together.

I let my hand fall from his smooth cheek, feeling incredibly disheartened by this new revelation.

'What's happened?' I asked, my eyes scanning over the room and coming to rest on another boy, he looked 17 years old, and had bronze hair that stuck up and had a messy look about it. He also had the same pale skin and gold eyes that Dr. Cullen had.

'What is the last thing you remember?'

'Throwing myself of a cliff.' I responded immediately, not missing the way his eyes flashed in sadness.

'Why did you do it, Esme?' He asked again and I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out. My little boy, how could I tell him about James, it meant I would have to tell him about Charles.

'Her baby died, Carlisle.' The boy responded, his eyes never leaving me and my eyes flickered back to him, how did he know that?

'Baby?' Carlisle gasped, his face looking resigned and a touch of disappointment.

'My James.' I whispered, waiting for tears to fall down my cheek but they never came.

'Oh, I'm sorry for you and your husband.' He said, although the last word did sound rather strained.

I laughed harshly. 'Don't feel sorry for him, he didn't know about him and I never want him to know. I left to get that poor defenceless child that I would bring into this word away from him. He was a horrible man, he deserves no pity.'

Many thoughts of the previous beatings, arguments, rapes that I had endured came back into my mind and I tried to force them away, tried to get rid of them.

Across the room, coming from the other boy, I heard a _growl._Could a human make that noise?

'Edward, calm down.' Dr. Cullen ordered but the other boy just laughed as harshly as I had.

'You don't have to live with what I see Carlisle. You don't have to see what that _bastard _did to her.'

I furrowed my brows, clearly confused with this conversation.

'He beat her, Carlisle. He raped her.' Edward continued and my eyes widened in shock. They were talking about me.

But how did this boy know these things about me? How?

Carlisle's face was frozen in shock, a tiny hint of hatred was beneath that layer.

'Carlisle, you need to tell her what's happened to her.'

Dr. Cullen seemed to thaw out and he nodded his head, turning his eyes back to me which held so much sorrow and pity.

'Esme, you threw yourself off a cliff and fishermen found you. You were declared dead and brought straight to the morgue but I was working there, and I heard your heart beating.'

'You _heard _my heart beating?' I replied, astonished at this, was he joking?

'Yes, I did. So I brought you back here and I...I changed you.'

'Changed me? Changed me into what?'

He took a breath. 'Into a vampire, Esme. I am so sorry.'

'A vampire?' I asked, regarding him with scepticism. 'I think you've been spending too much time around the gas in the hospital, Dr. Cullen.'

'He isn't lying.' The boy, Edward, declared. 'Do you feel that burning at the back of your throat? That's your thirst. You need blood.'

I froze, my muscles clenching and keeping me in one position.

'I don't want to kill anyone! I will not do that!' I snapped as I thawed out, despite the fact my throat was burning, it was like the fire had came back.

'You're not going to kill anyone.' Dr. Cullen soothed, but I wouldn't listen.

'That's what vampires do!'

He chuckled. 'Most of us do, but Edward and I are different. We drink animals' blood. It's no different than when you were human, you ate venison in your previous life I presume.'

I thought about that, I had eaten venison when I was little and once or twice when I went out with Charles. I never liked it that much.

Edward chuckled and I raised my eyebrow at him.

'It tastes different when you're a vampire.' He responded and I just stared at him. How did he do that?

'I can read minds.' He stated matter-of-factly.

My breath caught again and my body froze. He could read minds? Well, it would explain why he knew so much about her past, how he knew about Charles, how he knew about James.

'Oh.' Was what came out of my mouth.

The burning at the back of my throat was now to much to bare, I brought a hand up to my throat, trying to soothe it but it didn't work.

'Come on, Esme, let's go hunt.'

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><p><em>So, what did you guys think. Please review, and check my profile page out for a link to my FaceBook page. It'll give you a lot of sneak peeks from future chaptersstories, and allow you to ask me any question. _

_Thank you!_

_~ Charlotte.x_


	6. Chapter VI

_Hello, now I know I said that I would only update the 1st of every month, but I don't want to stay away from this story that long. So, I'm updating on the 1st and 15th of every month! _

_Yay! Anyway, a couple of things to say ... can you please vote on the poll on my profile? I also have a Facebook page that you can like; the link is on my profile page. _

_This chapter was beta'd by the lovely Tiana, aka Why Fireflies Flash._

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><p><strong>Chapter VI<strong>**.**

**Esme's Reaction To Edward Leaving To Try "Normal" Vampire Life.**

**Denial.**

I can't even remember how it happened.

I thought we were doing fine, I thought everything was going brilliantly.

I had a husband who loved me dearly and treated me like his queen, who acted like I was the only woman on earth.

I also had a son, though he was not my biological son, I treated him as such. I gave him advice, I loved him, I cherished him and I knew he felt the same way. It took him so time, but even he began calling me "mum" when we were alone, when it was just the three of us. When out in public he was my nephew, but no matter what they thought or believed, he was my son, my special son.

So I couldn't understand why he left. Why he thought he _had _to leave.

He was full of anger, he almost couldn't control himself. I couldn't understand why I hadn't noticed the signs, because obviously, there were signs.

Looking back, I can see them now, but how I missed them when it was happening, I'll never know. Maybe, if I had noticed them, I could've stopped him from leaving.

It all started when Carlisle came home from work, Edward had been on edge all day and I thought that with Carlisle being home, it might help him, having the man who was like a father to him to talk to. But that was entirely optimistic thought, because as soon as Carlisle had walked through the door and kissed me in hello, Edward exploded.

'I'm leaving.' He had stated at first, after jumping to his feet, the chair he had been sitting on toppled over backwards.

I turned from my position in Carlisle's arms, my eyes wide and I froze. I couldn't have heard that right, could I have?

'What?' It was Carlisle that spoke but it was the question I had been thinking of asking since I heard those words come from his mouth.

'I am leaving.' He spoke slowly, emphasising every word.

'No, no you can't.' I whispered, my voice trying to sound convicting but it sounded more like pleading. 'Why are you saying this?'

'Because, Esme, I need to leave. I can't live like this anymore. Denying my nature.'

It was then I noticed he called me "Esme" instead of "mother", and I knew then that no matter what I said, he wouldn't change his mind. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to try.

'What do you mean by that, Edward?' I asked, unable to stop myself, what _did _he mean by that? What did he mean by "denying his nature"?

'I'm tired of living like every life is equal.'

'Every life is equal, Edward.' Carlisle insisted, one arm still around me.

'No it's not!' Edward roared and I flinched, I couldn't help myself, I recoiled into Carlisle's chest and another arm came to encircle me.

'See!' Edward pointed a finger towards me. 'Do you think the monster that made her so scared is equal to a man which saves lives?'

He seemed to have struck something within Carlisle, for he didn't answer that straight away. He looked down at me, my moment of weakness gone as quickly as it came.

I looked back up to him, my golden eyes meeting his and I smiled lightly, looking into his often had that effect on me.

'It is not up to me to decide God's will.' Carlisle replied evenly, looking from me back to Edward, who looked insulted by this reply.

'How noble.' He spat at Carlisle.

'Carlisle is right, Edward. I would not want you wasting away your soul for the sake of someone like Charles Evenson.'

He laughed bitterly. 'My _soul_! We do not have souls, Esme.'

'Believe what you want, my son, but I believe we do.' I reassured.

'We can't all be saints like Carlisle, Esme.'

I felt Carlisle freeze beside me, but I had to be honest, didn't I?

'I know we can't, but we can at least try.'

'You don't honestly feel this way, Esme?' Carlisle whispered and I knew that I had to tell him the truth, I knew that I couldn't lie to him.

'In a way.' I replied at first, then knew I couldn't leave him hanging like that. 'You are so perfect. You haven't killed anyone, you don't smell the blood, you don't find it enticing. Yet, Edward and I, we try to be like you, we try to please you but we never succeed. I've killed people, as has Edward. Even now when a human walks by me I get the urge to attack. I... we... just feel unworthy beside you.'

'I-I don't know what to say.' Carlisle stuttered and I turned in his arms and cupped his face.

'Don't say anything. I wouldn't leave you, no matter how I felt. I love you too much.' I kissed him lightly then, before pulling away and turning to Edward. 'And you shouldn't either.'

His face seemed to soften a little and he walked over to us, his eyes completely sincere.

'I love you both so much,' he confirmed, his eyes baring into mine. 'But this is something that I need to do.'

He kissed my forehead and placed a hand on Carlisle's shoulder, before he took off. Running out of the room with his vampire speed and I felt my body shake with sobs that I wouldn't cry.

We stood in that same spot until morning came and we only thawed out when the sun came in through the window and reflected off our skin, sending light dancing around the room.

'He's not coming back, is he?' I asked, my voice still as musical as it always was, though I felt it should've been cracking and breaking as I hadn't talked in near enough 9 hours.

'Not right now. No.'

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><p><em>Okay, so can you please review? Please? Also, vote in the poll and like my Facebook page.<em>

_Also, what do you think of the cover for this story? _

_~Charlotte.x _


	7. Chapter VII

_Hello! Here we have chapter 7! I hope you enjoy it! _

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed, story alerted, and added to their favourite! Thank you so much! _

_This chapter was beta'd by the lovely Why Fireflies Flash._

_Also, any announcements will now be made at the bottom of the page. =)_

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><p><strong>Chapter VII.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction to Alice and Jasper.**

**I'm Amazed, and Confused.**

I stood in the kitchen, the cleaning utensils in my hand, working away at the worktops in a human pace.

Rosalie, Emmett and Edward were in the living room, sitting watching some programme on the television. Carlisle was up in his office, working away on the papers for the hospital.

I started humming the lullaby that Edward had wrote for me, as I moved into the living room, stopping momentarily to take in the programme they were watching before going to clean the furniture in the room.

I was too lost in my thoughts, retreating inside myself as I normally did when I was cleaning. Then I heard two sharp raps on the front door.

I immediately stilled.

Carlisle was down from his office in an instant, as my sons and daughter came over to stand by our side as well.

Who was it?

No one visited us. We were the outcasts; no one wanted to come near us. It was just the way. So who would come knocking at our door?

I took a deep breath through my nose and was surprised when I didn't smell any blood.

They weren't humans.

They were like us.

'Did everyone else smell that?' I asked, my eyes still trained on where the door should be.

They all muttered in agreement.

Taking another breath, I wiped down my skirt and started to walk to the door, when a hand shot out and grasped my wrist.

'No.' Carlisle said, his eyes full of concern and worry for me.

_Years. _It had been _years _since I had been changed, and yet, he still cared and loved me like it was yesterday when we got married.

'We can't just leave them standing on the porch. That's rude.'

Beside me, I heard Emmett chuckle, probably because I was worrying about propriety at a tense time like this.

Carlisle's eyes were still etched with concern, but he nodded his head, linking his hand with mine.

'I'm coming with you, then.'

I wasn't about to argue with that. If they were the _other _kind of vampire, I didn't want to be alone when I would face them.

We went at our vampire speed, and were at the front door within a second.

I locked eyes with Carlisle, seemingly finding reassurance there, for when I broke his gaze, I reached out and opened the door.

My body instinctively stiffened as it realised we were in the presence of two other vampires.

One was a woman. Or a girl, surely she wasn't out of her teens. She was a short girl, even shorter than me, I was sure I could tuck her under my chin. She had dainty features, that reminded me of a fairy or pixie from a fairy-tale, which was framed by black, spiky hair.

The other was a man, towering over the young girl. He had honey-blond hair. He was muscular, but lean, but that wasn't my main concern. His body was covered by many crescent shaped bites on his skin. Several vampires had obviously tried to kill him. But obviously didn't succeed.

My body reacted instinctively, I crouched into a hunting stance, my lips curling back over my teeth.

It was probably an over-reaction, as Carlisle didn't do it. But he was older than I was, he was probably used to seeing others like this.

Then, as soon as it had happened, as soon as the threat built up in me, it was gone.

I felt completely at ease, and completely not threatened by his presence. I straightened up from my stance, and turned toward Carlisle, who was looking at me with an amazed expression on his face.

'So, who are you?' I asked, turning back to look at them.

It was then I noticed the small girl was completely at ease around us, but the blond man was looking at us wearily, his eyes darting from the small girl to us, and back again. Making sure she was all right.

'How can we help you?'

'I'm Alice, and this is Jasper. We've come to join your family.'

I froze. Out of all the answers I was expecting, that wasn't one.

My children had been listening to this conversation from the living room, and when they heard this, came darting through to look at the newcomers.

Once again, they didn't find the little one - Alice - threatening, but as soon as they landed on the man - Jasper - they curled into protective stances, the one we use when hunting.

Then, almost as quickly, they were out of those stances like I was.

I turned to Carlisle, whose brow was furrowed deeper than I had ever seen it.

'Care to explain it to me?' He asked them, and I had no idea what he meant.

Alice just giggled, it was light and charming, like peeling bells.

'Jasper has a special talent, he can feel and manipulate the emotions of anyone around him.' She explained, her hand grasping at his. 'So, when he felt Esme, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie getting defensive, he changed their emotions into something more peaceful.'

I didn't miss it.

I'm sure no one else did.

Whilst I was amazed he could changed people's emotions, the only thing I could this of was; how did she know our names?

We hadn't even introduced ourselves yet.

'Do you care to explain that as well?' Carlisle asked, his lips pulling into a small smile.

'I have the power to see into the future. I can see things that might happen, things that might come. But it's very subjective, the future is never definite, until someone makes a decision to take them that way.'

'So, that's how you found us?' I asked, as I reached for my husband's hand. 'You saw a vision?'

'Yep,' she replied. 'I saw a vision of your "vegetarian" diet, and I saw a vision of you welcoming us into your family.'

'Do you still see that?' Carlisle questioned, and then her eyes glazed over.

It was then I realised that their eyes were golden like ours, they had seen our way, and adopted it before joining us.

Her eyes then refocused, and her lips tugged into a smile.

'Yes.'

I laughed.

I stood aside, and allowed them to enter, signalling with my hand to come in.

'I guess there is no point arguing with the future.' Carlisle was saying, and I turned to him with a wide smile on my face.

'We'd be happy for you to join our family.'

'Esme.' Rosalie, Emmett and Edward exclaimed and I turned to them with a stern look.

'They seem kind to me, and Edward,' I turned to my first son. 'You can read their mind, can you see any thought about them wanting to do something bad?'

He shook his head.

I nodded once, before turning back to Alice and Jasper.

I just smiled widely at our new family members, not caring if the rest of them thought this decision risky. They looked perfectly kind to me.

'So, Alice, Jasper,' I started, walking over to wrap an arm around my husband's waist.

'Tell us about yourself.'

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><p><em>Okay, once again, if you haven't voted in my poll; please do. It's on my profile page, and it's to help me decide which story to start after my I finish the one I am on. <em>

_Also, I am THREE likes away from ten on my Facebook page! And as I said before, I will update no matter what. Even if I updated that day, I will update again. So, please, like that. It will mean a lot. Not to mention, I always post things there, such as sneak previews, and what I'm doing in terms of writing, so... please?_

_Oh, and most importantly, do not forget to review! Seriously! You have NO idea how happy it makes me, when I get that email through telling me someone's reviewed. And look... they've even made it easier, now you don't have to click a button, you just start typing! How cool is that? _

_~Charlotte.x_


	8. Chapter VIII

_I had totally meant to post this yesterday, but my brother and his fiancée came home, and I ended up forgetting all about this because of that. We were talking about the wedding and stuff, so this was really at the back of my mind. =) Sorry!_

_So, here it is now. This was beta'd by the awesome Why Fireflies Flash._

_Oh, and any important announcements will be made at the end of the story... so look out for them._

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><p><strong>Chapter VIII.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction to Renesmee.**

**Pure Gold.**

I have to admit, I was shocked when I found out about Bella. I was hurt, because of how everyone seemed to be against the baby. Then, a part of me, though I didn't want to be, was jealous. I knew it was irrational, but I had always wanted a baby with Carlisle, and it was impossible.

But Bella got a wish that she didn't want.

So yes, a part of me was jealous.

But I continued to support her, because I wasn't a selfish person. She would be able to pull through, I knew this for a fact. My Carlisle, and my son were capable people, I knew if they were determined enough, they would succeed. And they were determined.

We hadn't planned for Carlisle and I to be away, but when we came back, we could hear Bella's change take place. The venom had worked its way into her system and her heartbeat was as strong as I had ever heard it.

What I hadn't expected was how gorgeous that little baby would be.

On the third and final day of Bella's transformation, Nessie had grown so rapidly, the little thing had a tuft of bronze coloured hair on top of her head that showed the beginning of beautiful ringlets.

Her face was small and round, her cheeks a rosy pink due to the blood that pumped through her veins.

She was so completely beautiful. Even more so than my little Henry. Though I knew I shouldn't be saying that about my baby, I couldn't deny it. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.

Only yesterday I had bounced her in my arms, lulling her to sleep with one of Edward's songs. She looked so peaceful and gorgeous as she slept.

I was also astounded by her gift.

Her amazing ability to relay her thoughts to me, through her touch. She'd place her hand on my cheek and I'd see an image of what she wanted. Whether it be her Father, or blood, or sleep. Sometimes it would be for me to sing a song to her.

Jacob, who had imprinted on her, had given her the nickname "Nessie," which she adored.

They both got on so well.

Jacob adored her, he treated her like his little sister.

Edward had explained to me that he would change his mind according to what she needed. At this age, she needed a brother, so that was what he was. When she needs a friend, he will be there. And then, when she is of age, he'd be the person for her.

Emmett and Edward had bets on how Bella would react to this news. I told them I didn't want them gambling, but of course, they threw that innocent piece at me and I gave in.

Renesmee had asked several times about her Mummy, but we would just explain to her that she would be back soon, that she would meet her soon.

The gorgeous little thing was asleep in Rosalie's arms when we heard the sudden change in heartbeat.

After kissing Nessie's forehead, I darted upstairs to see Bella for the first time in her new vampire life.

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><p><em>Don't forget to review! It really makes my day! =)<em>

_Okay, the poll has been closed, and the winner is Bye Bye Blackbird. So, Echoes Down the Stream (an HP fanfic) will be posted after this story is finished, and when the Confusing Two Sparrows series ends, that's when Bye Bye Blackbird will be posted. So, I'll never be away from this fandom. =) I've updated my Order of Stories to be Published list on my profile, so you can see what is coming up._

_Oh, and if any of you are Guns N' Roses fans, I'm writing an Izzy Stradlin/OC fic, but it won't be posted here (as you know, real-people fics are not allowed), so if any of you wish to read that, let me know via review or PM and I'll send you a link to the site I'm publishing at. =)_

_Remember, like my Facebook page. I'm at 8 likes right now (thank you to all the people who have liked it so far!), and if two more people like it, I'll update as soon as I reach 10. So, if that happens today, prepare for a double update. If that happens tomorrow, then I'll update then. So, please, go and like the page, and I'll update as soon as I get 10 likes. =D_

_Uh... I think that is it... no, it's not, I'll be posting another poll within the next week or so, but I'll let you know more about that in the next update. Yep, that's it now._

_Review, please._

_~Charlotte.x_


	9. Chapter IX

_Hello guys! I'm back! I had to take August off to get my head straight. _

_Thank you to all you lovely people who have reviewed! It means so much to me! And don't forget to check out the important announcements at the end of the story._

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><p><strong>Chapter IX.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To Edward Trying To Kill Himself.**

**Hotter Than Hell.**

When Rosalie told me what his plans were, I couldn't believe it.

Where was the Edward - my Edward - who always thought things through logically?

Why on Earth would he think the best way to deal with this was to go and kill himself?

To reveal himself to the humans so the Volturi would have no option but to kill him.

Why?

Why?

Why?

I knew that love changed people, and that when that love is taken away, it can make people do crazy things.

But he just jumped to conclusions.

Bella was fine.

Of course, there was that moment where we thought she wasn't, but we couldn't have been sure of anything.

Alice had went to make sure that she was okay; we decided not to tell him anything until we were sure.

But he phoned, just to check in on us, and what happens? Rosalie goes right ahead and tells him Bella killed herself, before we knew for certain.

He phoned Charlie, who wasn't in and was "at a funeral", and so Edward added one and one together, and got three.

I anxiously waited for any news from Alice that they all got out safe.

However, when I got the phone call that they were, I was completely relieved, and when I was informed of their flight, I was there at the airport hours before it was due to land.

Then, I heard the call that it had landed, and I couldn't stop myself from standing up from my seat, and watching the crowd for any sign of my son.

When I saw him, the first thing I did was pull him into my arms, and threaten never to let go.

I made him swear that he would never do it again, to never put me through that hell again.

He apologised, and called me "mum", something that always won me over; I was sure he knew that.

'If you try that again, Edward.' I started, my voice a whisper so Bella couldn't hear me.

'The Volturi will be the least of your problems, understand?'

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><p><em>So, what did everyone think of Esme's reaction the Edward's over-reaction?<em>

_I have a poll on my profile, so, please vote in that as well. It will really help me out. =) _

_Don't forget to like my Facebook page, I've been gone for a month, and the reason was on the page, so if you don't like the page, you'll miss important announcements like that._

_And as said on my facebook page, I'll only be updating TWICE a month now. Instead of the regular four times. No one likes hiatuses, I know I don't, so this will prevent me from going on one._

_And once again, if any of you like bandfics, go to my profile to get the link to my little forum that holds all my banfics._

___Oh, and one more thing that has to do with me - and not with __fanfiction - I GOT MY PUPPY ON FRIDAY! He's called Izzy (after Izzy Stradlin, the original rhythm guitarist for Guns N' Roses). He's a chocolate lab, and if you want to see him, you should head over to my Tumblr, the link's on my profile. =D___

_That's it. So, review, like my Facebook, vote in the poll, and join my banfic forum! =)_

_~Charlotte.x_


	10. Chapter X

_YAY! Another update, and I know you're probably wondering __why__ I'm updating before I said I would, well, it's my birthday, and I wanted to update all my stories on it, so... that's what I'm doing! :)_

_Thanks to all you lovely people who have reviewed, added to their story alert and favourite, and even those that just click on and read it. :D_

_This chapter was Beta'd by the lovely, Why Fireflies Flash. _

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><p><strong>Chapter X.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To Carlisle When She Was 16.**

**Speechless.**

I was in pain. Obviously.

A broken leg would do that to you. I knew it was broken, mainly because the first doctor I saw told me so. However, he also said he wasn't experienced enough to deal with it, so he was going to get the other doctor.

I was waiting on a bed, in a hospital painted a dull white. My Mother was beside me; Father stayed with my sister at home.

'Climbing a tree, Esme. Really?' My mother was ranting beside me, but I just rolled my eyes, looking up at the ceiling.

'It was _fun, _mum! I wouldn't have fell if you hadn't shouted at me to come down.'

Of course, she wasn't going to accept that fact.

'Now don't you put the blame on me, young girl! I wouldn't have to shout at you if you hadn't climbed that tree in the first place.' My Mother replied, and turned to the nurse, asking her where the doctor was.

The nurse turned to the door and answered. 'Uh, here he is now.'

'Wow.'

I couldn't understand exactly why she was saying "wow" at first, but when I turned to look at where she was looking, I saw the reason behind it.

The doctor.

He was astonishing.

He had blond - no - gold hair, that reached his collar. He looked like he didn't belong in a hospital, but belonged on a movie set. In fact, I had to look about, making sure my Mother hadn't took me to a fake hospital instead.

He was tall, and was lean but even through his doctor's coat I could tell he was muscular.

As he moved closer - his actions were completely graceful and elegant - I could tell that his eyes were a peculiar shade. Gold. His eyes had purple shadows under them, as if he hadn't slept in a while, which was probably true. He was a doctor.

He looked a little older than twenty years old, and when he stopped in front of my bed, I immediately found myself like a stupid little child who fell out a tree.

'I'm Dr Cullen, but Carlisle is just fine.' He smiled, and I think my heart skipped a beat.

'So ...?'

'Esme. Esme Platt.' I answered for him and he smiled again.

_I wish he would stop doing that_!

'Esme, a nice name, I understand you have a broken leg?'

I nodded, unable to think of any other form of reply.

My Mother coughed. 'Yes, the other doctor said he was unable to deal with it.'

She looked like she was constantly reminding herself that she was married, and in love with her husband.

He handed the nurse for the charts, and she seemed completely flustered that the chart slipped from her fingers.

I was expecting it to clatter to the ground, but Dr Cullen managed to catch it before it did. He didn't seem annoyed though, maybe he was used to women falling over him constantly.

_He should be._I thought, and I felt my lips tugging into a smile, but I tried my hardest to stop it.

He moved to the side of the bed, so he had a better look at my broken leg, as he started to examine it.

'How did it happen?' He asked, and for a moment I was taken aback, He wanted to know? This wasn't the first time I had broke a bone climbing that tree, and every time I came here, they never once asked.

'I fell out a tree.' I answered, and the smile I had been trying to fight finally won.

'You climbed a tree?'

I nodded, ignoring the stern glare my Mum sent me, telling me to be quiet. But Dr Cullen asked, and I wasn't about to ignore him. I don't think I could. Not with a smile and eyes like that.

'Yes, the Great Tree on our farm. My sister and I were playing, and our ball got stuck up in the tree, so I climbed up in order to get it down. It wasn't the first time I had climbed that tree, and it wasn't the first time I've fell from it either.' I answered for him, then winced as he touched my leg with a bit more pressure than I could cope with.

'Sorry.' He muttered, and I just nodded.

After letting out a shaky breath, I said, 'I'm just annoyed I didn't get the ball down.'

He laughed.

I made him laugh.

The nurse seemed annoyed that I had managed to do that. Maybe she had never made him laugh before.

_Maybe you try too hard to be the woman you thinkhe wants, rather than the woman he actually doeswant._

When he was finished examining my leg, he turned to my mother.

'It'll need to be put back into place, and then have a cast to make sure it heals straight, is this all right?'

My Mother sighed, before turning back to me. She must've saw something in my eyes, for she turned back to Dr Cullen and nodded.

'I'll go back to the house, and get my husband.' She answered, before she leaned down and kissed my forehead, and then she headed out of the ward I was in.

Dr Cullen moved and took the chart off of the nurse, telling her to go and check up on another patient.

She seemed reluctant to leave, but did as she was told.

'What made you want to become a doctor?' I asked, the question was out of my mouth before I realised.

He looked up from the charts for a second, his golden eyes meeting my brown ones, before he looked back down.

'I knew I wanted to do everything in my power to save people. To help people.'

I hummed in response.

'You're unlike any other doctor I've seen.' I stated, unable to stop myself.

Oh, how I wished I could keep my mouth shut.

'How so?' He asked, and I was positive I saw the corner of his mouth twitch, as if he was trying to stop himself from smiling.

'I don't know. You seem more genuine... compassionate.'

He looked up from the chart again, and his eyes held mine captive.

'Thank you.'

I felt my face heat up, and before I completely embarrassed myself, I broke our eye contact and turned away.

'So, you said you've fell from your "Great Tree" before, what happened those times?'

And with that, a little conversation was created, only paused when Dr Cullen was called to help other patients, but when he came back, we would start where we left.

It was only cut short when Father came in through the door, and Dr Cullen set to work on fixing my leg.

'I wouldn't climb that tree again.' Dr Cullen said, as my Father steadied me, as he led me from the hospital to the truck outside.

'At least for a while.' He whispered, and I laughed before my Father and I bid him goodbye.

A part of me hoped I would see him again; I just couldn't imagine exactly what would happen after I did. I had no idea what the world had in store for me, and just how close I would get to Dr Cullen.

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><p><em>Do you think it's a plausible first meeting between Carlisle and Esme? If so, let me know. And if not, let me know that as well. :D<em>

_Join me on Facebook, the link is on my profile, it's a really fun place to be... :D_

_So, don't forget to review, and like the Facebook page. And I hope you all enjoyed the little birthday update. :D_

_~Charlotte.x_


	11. Chapter XI

_Hello! Sorry I forgot to update yesterday... I got so busy! But here is chapter 11 now! :)_

_Thank you to all the lovely people who have reviewed, as well as the people who have added it to their favourite and story alerts. You make my day. :D_

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><p><strong>Chapter XI.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To Marrying Charles.**

**White Blank Page.**

I was standing in the back, waiting for my song to start so I could go down the aisle.

My dress was elegantly simple. It was white, as per the usual, and my veil was made of lace, which was covering my face right now, slightly obscuring my vision.

My Father was standing beside me, waiting for music to start as well. He was happy to be walking me down the aisle. Finally.

My younger sister had already done it. Of course, it was supposed to be me at first, but no one here was what I wanted.

I had constantly made the mistake of comparing every suitor to Dr Cullen. Obviously not aloud, my parents didn't know I was changed completely by that doctor I met when I was sixteen.

But in my head, he was the epitome of perfect, and no one could ever live up to him.

Of course no one could, the man was unique. Completely and utterly unique.

And sadly it wasn't Dr Cullen that was waiting for me down at the end of that aisle. If it were, I wouldn't have needed the music, I would've went down without it. You couldn't have stopped me from bolting down to him.

If it were him.

But it wasn't.

It was Charles Evenson.

A man who's father did business with mine.

My parents always hinted he would be a good husband for me, but I could never see it. He was always too forward, and seemed to think flashy objects would win my affections.

The only reason I accepted was to make my parents happy. I know that's not the best reason to get married, but it was my reason.

Everyone I grew up with was either engaged or already married. It was only me that wasn't. So, to save my parents the humiliation and shame that society built around a unmarried twenty-something year old woman, I agreed to marry Charles.

My parents were ecstatic and quickly threw themselves into the wedding planning.

They asked me for my opinion, but nine times out of ten, my opinion disagreed entirely with theirs, so I just let them be.

Now... now it was the day and I wished I never said yes.

I barely knew him! How could I get married to a man I barely knew? It was only when we were rehearsing our vows did I learn his middle name was Peter!  
>That wasn't normal!<p>

I wanted to be like my friends. They all married people they loved. Most of them married their childhood-sweethearts.

I would've. But _my childhood-sweetheart _was about seven or eight years older than me. Not that would be that much of a problem. The real problem was it was entirely one-sided, and he had probably forgotten all about me by now.

So, marrying my childhood-sweetheart was totally out the window.

If only it were possible.

I gave a sigh, and turned to my Father, who beamed at me. And, to stop myself from bolting out the door, I smiled back and reached for his hand.

Then my music started, and I knew it was too late to turn back from the biggest mistake of my life.

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><p><em>Don't forget to review... it's my only payment, and plays a big part in my motivation. :)<em>

_~Charlotte.x_


	12. Chapter XII

_I know I haven't updated this in a while, but I am sorry, I just have lost all inspiration for this, so the chapter will only have the 15 that I have written, and then it will no longer be updated. _

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><p><strong>Chapter XII.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To Her Pregnancy.**

**Escaping.**

I was frozen.

I was physically frozen.

'Congratulations, Mrs Evenson.' The nurse said to me, and I couldn't think of anything else to do, other than smile a fake smile.

It seemed foreign to me.

Of course, I had to smile everyday, so Charles wouldn't know what I was thinking. But every single on of those smiles were fake.

How was I supposed to feel happy about this?

My baby, my innocent little baby wouldn't have a chance. That... that monster would surely use him as a way to get to me.

He knew he was running out of ways to torture me. The beatings didn't do anything anymore; I cut myself off from the abuse he gave me in the bedroom; he was getting annoyed that I never respond to the verbal abuse.

I was numb to everything he did to me now.

But, now, now that I knew I had a little baby growing inside me, I wouldn't be.

Those severe beatings he gave me meant there was a chance my baby wouldn't get to see life. And even if he did, who was to say Charles wouldn't harm him?

_Surely he wouldn't harm an innocent little baby_. My mind thought, but I knew the assumption was false. He shouldn't hit his wife; he shouldn't raise a hand to anyone else. What was the difference between me and a little baby?

We were both made of soft flesh that bruised easy; we both had parts that could be masked, never showing the bruises; we both could have readily made excuses - I fell down the stairs once, only I didn't, he lost control and didn't care about hiding it. Until the next morning.

I couldn't remember leaving the doctors, until I found myself walking down the street that would take me back home.

I walked straight in, and had to run straight to the bathroom.

I was sick, but this wasn't from the pregnancy - of course, it was too early for that - but from the worry. I couldn't bring my baby up in the house.

What would happen when he grew? How many people would buy the tale of him "falling down the stairs"?

I walked from the bathroom, to the dining room, and sat down at the table.

I remained like that until Charles came home.

I was thankful that I had prepared his dinner before I went out, otherwise it would've been another beating, for not being the perfect little wife, who has his dinner on the table for him coming home.

I got up from my position at the table, and moved to the oven, starting to heat up his dinner.

'How was work?' I asked. I didn't care about it. But I had soon learned it was what he wanted me to ask. Apparently, I was supposed to take interest in my husband's work. Though, after I ask, he always says I wouldn't get it.

How hypocritical, I got beat if I didn't ask, but if I did, I was just a meek little woman, who couldn't understand the business a _man _did.

'Don't worry, my love.' I cringed at those words. I wasn't his love. I would _never _be his love. 'You wouldn't understand it.'

I turned back to him and smiled, before turning back to the stove.

'How was your day today?' He asked, as he sat down at the table as well.

I cringed, before turning around to look at him.

It was then I saw that expression. The one I knew well. He didn't need to ask what I did, because he already knew.

If I lied, it was a beating.

This was just a test.

'Good,' I said, smiling another fake smile. 'I went to the doctors today.'

'Really, what for?'

I took a deep breath, before swallowing hard. 'I hadn't been feeling well, the past couple of days. So, I went to find out what was wrong.'

'Did the say what was wrong?' He inquired, and I wanted to run to the bathroom to be sick again.

He had to know about the baby.

'Yes, the did. They gave me - us - some pretty brilliant news.' I rested my palm on my slightly larger stomach. 'I'm pregnant.'

He smiled widely, before getting up from his seat, and rushing to embrace me.

'I know, I bumped into Dr Smith on my way home from work, I didn't say anything, because I wanted you to tell me.'

_No, you wanted to see whether or not I would lie to you._

'Are you happy?' I asked, as I thought for a moment that maybe - _just maybe _- this could work.

'Of course I am.' He answered, as he too rested his palm on top of my stomach. On top of my hand.

_Maybe this could work._

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><p>Yet, I couldn't have been more wrong. The next day, nothing changed. If I didn't do anything he wanted me to. He beat me.<p>

As I lay in bed, a week after I had told him, I knew I couldn't continue living like this.

Not for the sake of my baby.

I wouldn't allow him to take away his innocence. To take away that sparkle from his eyes, that fire in his personality - like he did with me.

So, when Charles was completely asleep. I packed my bags, and ran to my cousin in Milwaukee.

And I never looked back once.

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><p><em>Let me know what you think!<em>

_~Charlotte.x_


	13. Chapter XIII

_Only two more chapters left on this story. :( _**  
><strong>

_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! And I'm sorry if I haven't replied to it! I've been too busy and I've completely forgotten if I've replied or not, but do not worry, I will reply to the review you leave on this chapter! :D_

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><p><strong>Chapter XIII.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To Marrying Carlisle.**

**This Time, It's Different.**

This time, it's different. I knew that.

At least, I thought I did.

It wasn't Charles that was standing at the bottom of the aisle waiting for me, it was the man I _wished _was there when I married Charles.

It was Dr Carlisle Cullen waiting down there for me.

He _wanted _me. This was no longer a school girl's crush. No. This was mutual. He wanted me, and I wanted him.

So, why, God, why was I ready to turn and bolt out the door?

If I were still human, I was sure I would be shaking like a leaf on a tree, trying to keep what was in my stomach down. That was if I made it that long. I was sure if I were still human I would've fainted by now.

I guess there was another benefit to being a vampire.

I looked down at my hands, which were clenched around a bouquet of flowers, which were now, unfortunately, completely broken at the stems.

My eyes lingered on the diamond engagement ring he had gave me. My eyes traced the engraving "_Ad mea specialis, formosa, Esme._", it was Latin, and Carlisle told me it meant "To my special, beautiful wife, Esme.", I remember giggling like a little school girl when he told me.

'You'll be fine, Esme.' Edward's voice said, breaking me from my thoughts.

'I know. I know it's not him. It's Carlisle down there, and he adores me. But, when your only experience with something like this is bad... you can't expect to move on with no problems.' I replied, closing my eyes for a second.

I only opened them when the music started.

'You're our witness, Edward. I'm glad it is you, really. It's much better than the large crowd I had at my other one. This will be, small, cosy, comfortable.'

'Esme, I'm glad your happy I'm your witness, but the music has started, and if we wait any longer, Carlisle will think you've ran out on him.'

I gave a giggle, and felt much better about walking down the aisle when I realised that I didn't want that; I didn't want Carlisle thinking I had left him at the alter.

Edward slipped out first, taking his place in the church.

This time I wouldn't be walking down this aisle with Father, no, I'd be walking down there myself.

And somehow, that felt better.

The last time I had married just to make him - and my mother - happy, but now I was marrying to make myself happy.

That was the key difference between then, and now.

The doors opened, and even with my epiphany that I had just had, the very idea that I was walking down the aisle again was... daunting.

However, when I saw his face, smiling brightly, his eyes shining with adoration and love, it was then I knew, I just _knew _that everything would be perfect.

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><p><em>Let me know what you think! <em>

_~Charlotte.x_


	14. Chapter XIV

_This is a sad, short one. I couldn't have done any more. _**  
><strong>

_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story! And even to the people who just click on it to read it! :D_

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><p><strong>Chapter XIV.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction To The Death Of Her Baby.**

**Today I've Lost You.**

I didn't believe the doctors when they told me. I couldn't. He was the only reason that I had left; he was the thing that kept me sane, the thing that kept me... _alive_.

And now, the doctors were telling me he wasn't going to make it. That he had lung fever, and they could do nothing to help him.

I remember screaming, telling them they were wrong.

I remember crying, as I realised my baby was dying.

I remember then feeling nothing but sadness, as I asked to have him in my arms for his last few moments.

I remember the doctor telling me what was going to happen to him; how his breathing would slow, then his heart would finally stop.

I remember the nurse saying she was sorry, before leaving me alone.

I cried again, I couldn't help myself. Especially as I looked down into his precious little face, watching his peaceful face as he slept. I watched the gentle swell and fall of his chest, and how he wrapped his full fist around my pinky finger.

Then, I watched as the rise and fall of his chest got slower, and slower, until eventually he stopped.

I watched as he exhaled for the last time.

I remember crying again, as it finally hit me that my baby was gone. That my innocent little baby was gone.

I remember thinking, as I put my baby into his crib for the last time, that I had absolutely no reason to live.

Not one.

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><p><em>Ahem... yes. What do you think?<em>

_~Charlotte.x_


	15. Chapter XV

_Chapter 15 here people!_**  
><strong>

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!_

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><p><strong>Chapter XV.<strong>

**Esme's Reaction to Rosalie's Change.**

**Trade In?**

I was shocked when I first found out what he had done.

I came home from a day of shopping, and I find my husband, lying beside the most beautiful woman to ever walk the earth, who was in the process of turning into a vampire.

I ran from the room, to the room where Edward was, asking him what had happened.

He didn't tell me, and told me it was for him to explain. "Him" being Carlisle.

I decided to give my husband the benefit of the doubt, and hesitantly made my way back to the room.

'I couldn't leave her there.' He whispered, but I was in no mood to be sympathetic.

'We're going to have to move again.' I replied, ignoring his last statement. 'Did you think of that? Do you _know _how recognisable she's going to be around here. Everyone is going to be looking for her!'

'I couldn't leave her there.' He repeated, and I shook my head, looking over to her again.

Instantly, I was hit by her beauty. She was _so _beautiful. Her golden hair, her beautiful features, her pale skin, her slim body. She was perfection.

And here I was, brown hair, curvy and only made beautiful from my change.

This wasn't out of pity; this was a trade in.

He had told me more than once that vampires were selfish creatures.

He had saw this beautiful woman and decided he would trade me in. He would get rid of me, and take her instead.

'Esme?' Edward called, and I turned to find him at the door. 'A word.'

He turned and I followed him, ignoring Carlisle as he turned to look at us, wondering what was happening.

He led me a good bit away from the house, far enough that I knew Carlisle wouldn't hear us.

'He's not trading you in.' He said, as he rounded on me.

'How do you know?' I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest, so I didn't go harming the trees.

'I just do! I've seen the way he acts with you, the way he looks with you, the way he thinks about you; he wouldn't trade you in.'

I sighed, knowing what he was saying was true, but I still couldn't hide that nagging feeling side of me that he was trading me in for someone more beautiful.

'He probably needs our help.' I whispered, before turning around and heading back to the house, going to help my husband and try and soothe the young woman who was going through the most painful change one could go through.

And after three days of pure agony - filled with screaming and trashing on Rosalie's behalf, and not a single word said between between my husband and I - her heartbeat finally began to slow, and we had to figure out just how to explain what had happened to her.

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><p><em>So, there we go. The last chapter to this set of one-shots. This is now complete. I just have lost inspiration for this now, mainly because I don't really like Twilight anymore. And I haven't read itwatched it in years, so I have no more inspiration._

_Anyway, thank you to everyone who has EVER read this, reviewed it, alerted it or added it to their favourite. It makes my day! And I hope you liked the last chapter, let me know in a review!_

_~Charlotte.x_


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